Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas.
From – Loli-phile with 8 moe girls
Moonstone (Eroge company) has released “perhaps” the first ever English translated bishoujo game for the iPhone and iTouch today. Bearing in mind that this released version is the same one as the PS2 version/All ages version. with some small adjustments for the iPhone/Touch such as; instant resume of the game if there is a call from a push of the Home button.
Text is in English and Voices are in Japanese.
Only compatible with 2nd generation iPhone and iTouch OS 2.2 or later.
Size: 1.08gb
Edit: Moonstone reports that it is not a pure clone of the PS2 version. A lot of the voices was taken away to compress the game.
There seems to be other bishoujo games released in the iTunes store, none of them are English translated. Some are also trial versions/playable demo.
I wish I had an iPhone or iTouch.
GIFT Official Site: http://www.moon-stone.jp/gift/g_index.html
GIFT’s iTunes store (iTunes needed to view): http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/gift-eng/id333282580?mt=8
Massive Note: I give A LOT away, consider it a *Spoiler* warning!
During the early half of my childhood, I remember watching a cartoon called G.I Joe. Looking back on it now, I realize that I only watched it for the guns and explosions – a common thing in American television – in fact thinking back on it, I always thought it was a Action Man show, since I had no idea what G.I Joe was. After about 3 episodes, the broadcaster for some unknown reason cancelled it. Anyway, towards the end of an episode there would be a PSA (Public Service Announcement) teaching kids the good and bad things, which were common in children shows at the time such as Captain Planet, Sonic the Hedgehog etc.
By now you must be thinking what all this has to do with this “review” well at the end of the PSA, a fairly popular catchphrase is spoken at the end: “And knowing is half the battle!” And now, I wish I hadn’t known about this movie.
This movie SUCKS! In fact I’m not going to bother doing a “review” of it. I’m just going to rant and pick out some of the flaws in it. And Yes, this will be very very biased. So stop reading if you want a fair
opinion.
Rant 1 – The overall direction of the movie.
The movie’s direction/set out is pretty damn boring. You get the story, then a flashback, the story, then a flashback etc… A lot of the time the flashbacks are pretty useless because the audience have already figured it out. Sibling rivalries, death of brother etc. To be honest for a movie that was based on a cartoon, based on a series of toys, I never expected this movie to have so much back-story. They are a special force that deals with terrorists etc. They blow shit up, beat up bad guys, END.
Rant 2 – The characters
Out of all of the characters in the movie, about 3 of them were given a full back-story, hence they take most of the flashbacks sequences. To be honest, I was only really interested in the silent Ninja/Snake Eyes. Which was pretty disappointing.
The sudden romance between 2 of the characters; Ripcord and Scarlett was weird. They probably have the least amount of interaction between each other.
Rant 3 – Story
The overall story sucks. Set in the future nanomachines are the new hype on warfare. These nanomachines can eat through metal and something, i really didn’t pay much attention. Basically the bad guys steals it and tries to take over world! Simple stuff really. Except for the fact that these nanomachines can control people’s minds and can alter their facial appearances! So why the hell didn’t they just change their own faces into a powerful person like the President and walk into the White house and just kidnap or mind control the actual president themselves? Which is what they did AT THE END of the movie! Making the movie a waste of time.
I think I’ve covered the overall flaws of the movie, I could probably go on, but I would rather focus on some of the most ridiculous scenes in the movie:
1 – The bad guys find out where the G.I Joe headquarters is (some desert place). So they somehow drive these big drilling machines through the desert and smashes into their base for infiltration. Why does G.I Joe radar not pick this up? How does huge drilling machines be the same as a “small turbulence” (movie quote)
2 – In the same scene, during the infiltration of the headquarters, there was only 1 guard in the base. This is a military base, why is there only 1 guard in the whole base? Better yet, why does nobody else hear the rocks getting smashed through the wall or the rocks that fall onto the ground, when the drilling machines smash through underground. Now that i think about it, there was actually another guard there, but he died in less than 3 seconds. Movie wise, I would say that he would be standing there for more than 10 minutes, which he could have used to like, I don’t know; maybe shoot the intruders? Or better yet inform everyone else.
3 – There’s a car chase scene within Paris that spans from the The Place de l’Étoil to Champ de Mars to blow up The Eiffel Tower with their nanomachine rocket, which i don’t see why they didn’t just use a normal rocket or just fly in with their spaceship thing, that even attack helicopters can’t destroy, I mean they could have kept that nanomachine and loaded it into a warhead, like they did during the climax of the movie. They would have had 4 warheads to destroy the major capital cities. The G.I Joe’s barely took out 2 – there were 3 of them originally, 1 was taken down by the ninja whilst the other 2 were taken down by plane, except the 2nd one had like 5 seconds remaining upon impact. Therefore if they hadn’t had wasted that one rocket on the Eiffel tower, the bad guys would have succeeded.
Also, in the same scene, during the car chase. They literally smash through buildings, cars and streets, basically everything to chase the bad guys. And they basically try to pass it off that NO ONE was in those buildings and such, or the fact that hundreds of people may be dead or seriously injured. 1 of the guys literally jumps THROUGH A MOVING TRAIN, in their robot suit thing, coincidentally NO ONE was sitting on the window chairs or standing near the window where 1 of the guys jumps THROUGH. How is that even possible!?
ALSO IN THIS SAME SCENE, the bad guys go in front of the moving train and the train collides onto the side of their car. The car SUFFERS NO MAJOR DAMAGE how is that possible? And that’s not the worst of it. The car somehow flies through the air doing at least 5 rotations and ignites into flames and scrapes along the road. Even that’s not the worst of it, the bad guys literally come out of the car, with 2 bruises on their faces and runs off IN PERFECT CONDITION, no limping or anything. Their clothes all clean and white too, no dirt no nothing. By the end of this scene, the French government arrests them, but they SET THEM FREE without any form of punishment.
4 – The Ninja in black/Snake Eyes Flashback 1 and 2. in the first flashback we find out that he’s dome white kid living in the streets of Tokyo eating rats. Sneaks into some house, steals food and fights another kid. The other kid’s master comes in and basically tells the kid to stfu and talk english. (Which is actually really funny) Then in the second flashback they all talk in Japanese and the 2 kids become “brothers” Even though they blatantly show that they hate each other. Then the other kid stabs and kills their master. Other kid runs off joins the bad guys. Because of this, Snake Eyes took a vow of silence, never to speak again. Wierdo.
I should have put this in the previous rant but whatever: in the car chase in Paris, Snake Eyes clings onto the bottom of the bad guy’s car and does virtually nothing to stop it. When he FINALLY reaches the roof, he just stabs his sword and shoots his gun, through the roof of the car.(Best way to not break the nanomachines and to not spread them throughout the city /sarcasm)
5 – I know this is supposed to be a prequel of some sort, but did they really have to put Destro (Main bad guy) at the END of the movie? In fact the bad guys don’t even acknowledge themselves as Cobra. (Evil team) And when he does show up, he gets arrested and sent to jail in less than 5 seconds. Anti-climatic enough?
Ok, this is getting way too long and you’re probably bored from reading it now, if not before or bothered. There are much more and i mean MUCH MORE things wrong with this movie. Such as the age rating or a lot of the scenes etc. Overall, movie sucks even if it is supposed to be aimed at 12 year olds, I assume. But when, even the 12 years olds starts to asks their parents why and how the bad guys survived that car chase scene, the fire rotating car blah blah, then clearly the director/script writer fucked up. And yes there was 3 of them sitting behind me in the cinema.
So if you like Giant explosions and mindless violence with no logic at all – The Good old American way – then this movie might be to your liking.
Going for a Bishoujo game review this time. Age 18+ stuff in here!
Background: AliceSoft is a renown gamesoft company, most famous for it’s large amounts of H images in their games. Their most recognised game would probably be Beat Angel Escalayer. Featuring large amounts of H images featuring a variety of fetishes. In this post, i will blog about 1 of their latest ones; Beat Blade Haruka.
Like i stated above, AliceSoft is popular for it’s H and it’s “fun” system. Like its predecessor, Beat Angel. This game contains a variety of H images, containing; Loli, Tentacle, BDSM, Futanari, Beastiality, Regular/Normal and more. The story is Admit it, you don’t care basically about a female shinobi(Haruka) finding the protagonist (Ikusabe), and he has the “Dragon Wheel Technique” and uses it to increase Haruka’s powers, basically he just has sex with her. Depending on the fetish/H scene, the end result may increase her Attack, Technique or Evasive powers. Later on, 2 other shinobi’s (Loli & Tsundere) join and Ikusabe can sex them up too. And if you find a sub/mini-boss and happens to be female, you can also sex her up, assuming that you win against her.
Combat is pretty bland i guess, point and click a technique basically, but your shinobi’s stats will always determine your wins or losses. If your evasiveness is lower than the enemy and you use a high leveled attack, it will be guranteed that you will miss. Similarly in the same situation, if you use a low level attack you will definitely miss. If you succeed in winning against a sub-boss, there’s a chance that you can sex her up, as previously stated. But if you lose, the sub-boss will torment your fallen ninja. Submitting them through sex and rape. Basically where all the extreme H scenes occur.
The other form of combat is infiltration of castles, which is like 1 of those old fashion board games, the player chooses an ilfiltration route and the shinobi runs through it. The path are formed from colour squares. As the shinobi runs through these squares, various things happen, enemies may appear or treasure is found etc. At the end, the shinobi can escape out of the castle to restore health or continue onwards to the next level or final boss. Again, if the shinobi looses from the battle, she gets raped.
Overall a typical bishoujo game story with an attempt of gameplay. The CG’s are amazing. The seiyuu’s/Voice Actors are also decent, though the regular change from Edo japanese to the present 21st centurey japanese, takes time to get used to. then again, no one ares Although the game is only half voiced, meaning that only the important parts such as the story or H scenes have actual voices in them. The combat system, is pretty boring on 1st look, but if you’re trying to get every single damn CG and H scenes, you’ll learn to appreciate it, especially the surrender technique aka “instant get-raped technique.”
minori, the software company in which created ef ~a fairy tale of two, Wind etc. has posted on their blog section their journey to the UK. Apparantly they only went for 4/5 days from the 5th of April to the 8th. Most likely the journey is for research purposes like Mikage’s (Director of ef) trip to Germany, Moscow and Russia.
I’ll just briefly summarise some of the things that had happened;
1st day – On the nights before (2nd & 3rd) they vertified their hotel reservations. And basically it was there journey off day. They had steak before they left, though they try to claim it as the airplane food. They arrived at a station near Chalk Farm. With their map in hand, they tried to find the hotel, but an “english gentleman” came to help. After a 15 minute walk they finally arrived.
2nd day – Went to Oxford Circus to get some food from SUBWAY. Comes back to hotel to do some of their work for their next sequel of Ef ~ a fairy tale of two. THat night, they went to the local chinese takeaway, which happened to be around the corner from their hotel.
3rd day – Started working on the Ef sequel again, this time, they are doing the animation Video/Opening video of the game. Then they tried Fish and Chips, they complimented it as being a traditional English meal.
4th day – They start off saying that they quite enjoyed the UK’s cool weather rather than the typical hotness in Japan. Then MORE work…. audio and frame matching.
5th/Final day – Went to Baker street and Hyde Park.
If you haven’t noticed, I kinda gave up translating about half way. Mainly because they tend to talk more about their work and their computer hardware and software specifications.
Tokyo Tosho
Latest Comments